Today marks 365 days that I have been holding our precious
bundle of boy in my arms. Today I feel excited for what our future holds and a
little tearful to think that 1 year has already flown bye! I feel as though he
was born yesterday and we still have a whole lifetime before he turns ONE.. or
maybe that’s just wishful thinking. I do realize the importance of living in
every single second though. The first year is so full of firsts.. First smile,
first laugh, first teeth, first time crawling, first steps, first word, first
cold, first cough, first poopy diaper, first time peeing all over dad and the
changing table (nope, didn’t avoid that first). I have no doubt this next year
will hold many more firsts, and seconds, successes and fails. But as I said, living
in the moment.
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| My Dad - Grandpa Comerford - holding his first grand baby<3 |
My Dearest Eli,
We have spent one year with you. It is hard for me to think
that one year is already over and in the rearview mirror. God has taught me so
much through you. First it’s crazy to me that he can use a little boy to teach so
much to a few adults. I first learned what it was like to wake up 8 times
throughout the night to change dirty diapers and nurse you until the
still-dark-early morning hours. Most people think it is crazy that you could
sleep so little and hold a crying baby for hours and still be so happy the next
day (on 3 hours of sleep) and still love that baby so much. If it is crazy,
then I may be the craziest of them all. When you finally started sleeping
through the night there was a HUGE part of me that was scared – is he still
breathing? Is he alive? But there was an even bigger part of me that was sad –
because like I said, crazy as it sounds, I LOVED rocking in the chair looking
at you and falling more in love with you at 2AM. It is a love that I think only
a parent can understand, and I pray every person gets the chance to feel that
feeling. When you started sleeping in your crib in your own room, well don’t
even get me started on that because it basically broke your mama’s heart. At 3 ½
months I felt like my little boy was becoming an adult sleeping on his own “on
the other side of the world from me.” Then you got teeth, that added 2 more
years to your appearance, and you started crawling, that added 5 years to my
appearance ;) Now here you are starting to walk, starting to talk, signing
words (please, more, thank you), crawling on the fireplace, crawling out of the
shopping cart, winking at people, changing by the second. Every day, every
step, every second, I learn more about being YOUR mama. I’m not sure why exactly
God chose me to be your mama, but I know he knew exactly the kind of son I needed
- The kind that smiles at me in the morning and has me melting into a puddle of
joy and tears , the kind that makes me bust up laughing just watching you eat
eggs, the kind that teaches me patience (clearly God knew I needed to work on
that and a little boy would be my perfect teacher), the kind of boy that
teaches me to let go and put it in God’s hands every day. You are quite the
little explorer and it scares me to death.. Why you think it is a good idea to
stand up on the stairs, crawl out of shopping carts, sit on the fireplace, and
eat rocks is beyond me, but I think I am a better person and more forgiving/
understanding because of it. There is a saying, Eli, that when you give birth
to your child it is like your heart has been taken from you and is walking
around outside of your body. That statement has never been more true. You laugh,
I laugh. You cry, I cry. I have learned more about love than I could possibly
write down - loving you, loving your daddy, loving God, loving other people.
That is the beautiful thing about children they love you no matter what your
flaws or beliefs look like, and you are not any different in that area. You are
such a lover. Only a child can cruise through Costco winking and laughing at
EVERY SINGLE person that walks bye.
Eli, you are such a special person in my life and everybody’s
life. You always light up the room. I never thought a little baby could have
such an effect on so many people, but you certainly have. I pray that this next
year I can continue to learn more from you and about being the “perfect” mama
for YOU. I love you Elijah Paul Frink. Happy Birthday my sweet sweet blessing.
Love, Your Mama
